:: Mikel's Mind ::

:: Sunday, December 29, 2002 ::

test for comments

:: Mikel 8:08 AM [+] ::
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Odd day, in my head.

It was easier to play with Carson and Nick today, as I wasn't as exhausted as I was yesterday. Opening presents was a lot of fun. The paper fight...well, I'm not sure who started the paper fight but we were all in on it. I seemed to get an inoordinate amount of attacks for the ones I delivered.

We laughed a lot and teased each other and it was good. Helped keep my mind off of her for a bit, though she's never truly far from my thoughts. I keep wanting to find the right thing to say, the right things to show her what's so damn clear to me and, honestly, I think to her as well.

I want to call her just to hear her voice and cannot wait for Tuesday morning when I'll see her. I have hope when I'm around her. The way she looks at me..... I never thought anyone would look at me like that. I want to be so many things, just for her. I know I'm better for her and for her son then he is. And I respect that she doesn't want to put her son through more change, but this would be a change for the better, I know. I can't promise her forever, but it feels like I could. I've never felt this way about anyone. Not this strongly, and not this free with who I am.

I've given her what I've given no one else. That part of me I guard the most.

I'm tired.
:: Mikel 10:44 PM [+] ::
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In Michigan, surprised how much my cousin Carson (6) was looking forward to seeing me. Played with him quite a bit, but I got no sleep last night and none two nights before that. I'm currently emotionally and physically drained. He's a great kid, though, incredibly funny.

Trying not to let her dominate my thoughts and failing miserably. I didn't want to fall in love, not with the situation as it is. I have to trust things will turn out well but it's hard. Really hard.

This scares the hell out of me.
:: Mikel 7:23 PM [+] ::
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Been awhile, I know. Quite awhile. Christmas is coming up and I'll be heading to Michigan for a four day weekend shortly.

Picked up a new firewire drive yesterday so I can finish editing. In the middle of the arduous task of downloading CDs and correcting names. I've got to start kicking ass on editing again. The break was needed but now it's time to get back to work.

Work is going well. I've met some very cool people including one who's become a good friend. I'd missed working with people for the past few years.

I suppose there would be a lot to write, but I'm not entirely sure who reads this.
:: Mikel 9:51 AM [+] ::
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