:: Mikel's Mind ::

:: Wednesday, March 17, 2004 ::

For Kat and Britt and whoever....

I may try to keep up on this. Things have been in a state of limbo for awhile, but the script for my next film is pretty much done. It needs a bit of work but is in a good shape.
:: Mikel 12:52 AM [+] ::
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Sorry, Britt. To call this last year a crazy and difficult one could in no way do it justice. I'll try to be a least semi-regular with this.

Othello is coming along well and I'm having a fuckng ball as Iago. Being very very very very very evil, which is a lot of fun.
Made a change to my wife's death scene that my director loves. Both times we did it, we got an "ooohhhhh!" from him.

I'm a creepy bastard. Mwahahahahaha

:: Mikel 1:11 AM [+] ::
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God Damn.

A year and some change here in NJ.

Moved halfway (or so) across the country. Found the love of my life...the one I wanted to marry and who wanted to marry me. Lost her to fucked up circumstances. Edited a film. Met some cool people. Landed the role of Iago.

Been a strange year. a very very strange year. Might actually start keeping up with this again. Who knows?
:: Mikel 11:18 PM [+] ::
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test for comments

:: Mikel 8:08 AM [+] ::
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Odd day, in my head.

It was easier to play with Carson and Nick today, as I wasn't as exhausted as I was yesterday. Opening presents was a lot of fun. The paper fight...well, I'm not sure who started the paper fight but we were all in on it. I seemed to get an inoordinate amount of attacks for the ones I delivered.

We laughed a lot and teased each other and it was good. Helped keep my mind off of her for a bit, though she's never truly far from my thoughts. I keep wanting to find the right thing to say, the right things to show her what's so damn clear to me and, honestly, I think to her as well.

I want to call her just to hear her voice and cannot wait for Tuesday morning when I'll see her. I have hope when I'm around her. The way she looks at me..... I never thought anyone would look at me like that. I want to be so many things, just for her. I know I'm better for her and for her son then he is. And I respect that she doesn't want to put her son through more change, but this would be a change for the better, I know. I can't promise her forever, but it feels like I could. I've never felt this way about anyone. Not this strongly, and not this free with who I am.

I've given her what I've given no one else. That part of me I guard the most.

I'm tired.
:: Mikel 10:44 PM [+] ::
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In Michigan, surprised how much my cousin Carson (6) was looking forward to seeing me. Played with him quite a bit, but I got no sleep last night and none two nights before that. I'm currently emotionally and physically drained. He's a great kid, though, incredibly funny.

Trying not to let her dominate my thoughts and failing miserably. I didn't want to fall in love, not with the situation as it is. I have to trust things will turn out well but it's hard. Really hard.

This scares the hell out of me.
:: Mikel 7:23 PM [+] ::
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Been awhile, I know. Quite awhile. Christmas is coming up and I'll be heading to Michigan for a four day weekend shortly.

Picked up a new firewire drive yesterday so I can finish editing. In the middle of the arduous task of downloading CDs and correcting names. I've got to start kicking ass on editing again. The break was needed but now it's time to get back to work.

Work is going well. I've met some very cool people including one who's become a good friend. I'd missed working with people for the past few years.

I suppose there would be a lot to write, but I'm not entirely sure who reads this.
:: Mikel 9:51 AM [+] ::
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